Downtown Baltimore (A Parody)
Sung to Petula Clark's "Downtown"
Parody lyrics by Chris Todd
When you've been shot
And you are lying there bleeding
It's 'cause you chose to go. . . DOWNTOWN
Your car has been stolen
And your head feels like it's rolling
That's how the hoodies run. . . DOWNTOWN
And on the intersections all you see are dirty beggars
School lets out and all the teen girls look like they are
preggers
Or have dropped out. . . from the schools that everyone laughs about. . .
DOWNTOWN! The villains here run the show!
DOWNTOWN! The dealers sell smack and blow!
DOWNTOWN! There's not much that's left of this town. . .
Downtown
Downtown
Downtown
The taxes are soaring
And the mayor's really boring
And doesn't really know. . . DOWNTOWN
Not enough cops for the beats
And the thugs rule the streets
It just doesn't pay to go. . . DOWNTOWN
Everywhere you look you see the rats they are a'breedin'
No Child Left Behind means none of the schoool kids are
a'readin'.
They just bring guns to school. . . Since murder's deemed cool. . .
In this DOWNTOWN!
A slaying for every day!
DOWNTOWN! It's hard to get away!
DOWNTOWN! People are leaving this town. . .
Downtown
Downtown
Downtown
Teen crooks are steeling
And 8th graders are dealing
Everywhere you go. . . DOWNTOWN
Boarded up buildings
And 300 annual killings
Is just the status quo. . . DOWNTOWN
Tax rates and insurance hikes just drive away all business
But no one seems to be bold enough to fix up all this madness
So shop owners leave. . . and so do the jobs. . . in this. . .
DOWNTOWN! There's just nowhere to work!
DOWNTOWN! Still here? You must be a jerk!
DOWNTOWN! There just isn't much left of this town. . .
Downtown
Downtown
Downtown. . .
[doo-doo-da-ditty-de-do
da-da-ditty-de-do
do-da-ditty-de do. . . .]