Christmas Parodies!

What Christmas holiday is complete without more bloodthirsty parodies? These are just a few short ones to round out the season...


The Golem Song
[To the tune of "The Dradel Song"]

Golem! Golem! Golem!
I made you out of clay.
And when I'm finished sculpting,
The neighbors you will slay!




Silent, Deadly Night

Silent Night
Deadly Night
All is stark
Kids have fright

There's yon Santa Claus
Wielding an axe
Because the parents
Have been way to lax

He'll chop the kiddies to pieces
Yes, chop all the kid to pieces...

Up on the Rooftop

Up on the rooftop
Clickity click!
Down comes pissed off old Saint Nick

He's not bringing the kiddies any fun
Instead he's packing a great big gun!
He'll shoot the Christmas tree full of holes
Before he picks off some innocent souls!

Ho ho ho!
Both barrels to blow!
Ho ho ho!
Who's gonna know?

Up through the chimney
Lickity split
A night full of mayhem
By good Saint Nick!



Burglar Claus

Better watch out
Better not cry
Bar all your windows
I'm telling you why:
     Burglar Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list
Checking it twice
He's stealing all the things
That fetch a good price
     Burglar Claus is coming to town

He sees you when your leaving
Or when you're not awake
He'll scour through your jewelry box
'Cause he can tell what's real or fake!

Oh... You'd better not pout
Better not cry
Your insurance is going up
I'm telling you why:
    Burglar Claus is coming to town!

    Burglar Claus is coming to town!



Rudolph the Cyborg Reindeer

Rudolph the Cyborg Reindeer
Had a red prosthetic eye
And when it shot out lasers
The children would all run and cry

All of the other reindeer
Used to stay the hell out of his way
They didn't want to be bisected
When Rudolph came around to slay!

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph with your eye so bright,
  Won't you be my laser sight?"

Then how the children feared him
As Santa launched his shooting spree.
Rudolph the Cyborg Reindeer
You'll go down in infamy!