The Ex-Libris Gazette
Volume 48. Edition 39
Expounding the Truth since A.S. 421!
Available by Whirligig!
High Priest Scyral Tekka, of the Scaxathrom faith, announced Phase II of “Hell
on Wheels” today in a press conference in Wren’s Forge (NP). “With the
overwhelming turnout for HOW, we now have a new army of willing, freewilled,
sentient Undead fighters and spellcasters to combat the growing threat of
those Sarcophka upstarts! So, my faithful, now is not the time to ask when you
can help your brethren -- rather, it’s time to ask HOW!” He then laughed
evilly before dismissing the conference. At last count, the Scaxathromite
“Hell on Wheels” mission had effectively depopulated Wren’s Forge of beggars,
prostitutes, vagrants, convicted criminals, luckless adventurers, disabled
persons, and the homebound elderly. “Reverend Tekka’s programme has been a
true godsend,” the mayor of Wren’s Forge added. “Who else could get rid of the
human debris from the street corner, empty the hospitals and prisons, and do
something about the old hags and nags -- all in just three weeks? He’s a
Bev Lexington, owner of the famous Lexington Diner in Emptygulch (NP), gave
authorities crucial information in the tragic Corgley McDugal murder case. “It
was a couple of days after the murder,” she explained. “A human, dressed all
in black, came into the diner for a bowl of pumpkin soup, and I noticed he had
a tiger and a giant scorpion tied to the hitching post outside. He didn’t say
much, but I remember his armour -- I’ve only ever seen one other suit of
armour like it; ancient technology, not made of leather or metal. I don’t know
what it was made of. But I’m sure that man’s the murderer!” Citizen Lexington
added a silver piece to the growing bounty for the capture of the sadistic
killer that not only murdered Corgley McDugal, an environmentalist who was
researching a way to restore the Deadwoods to life, but tore him
limb-from-limb and burned down his house.
Followers of the Sarcophka faith petitioned the North Point council to
officially recognise their religion. “The paperwork was filed properly,” said
Brand Malinov, council president. “It’s not like we don’t already recognise
other evil religions, such as the Scaxathromite and the Illuthielite faiths.”
Official recognition from the council is crucial in attaining tax-exempt
status for the fledgling faith. “The council will put it to a vote this
Friday,” Malinov added amidst howls of protest from Scaxathromite
demonstrators. In related news, the Scorganna cult also filed similar
paperwork for tax-exempt status.
The mysterious waterspout that has been whirling off the southern tip of West
Point has grown in both height and radius. “Other than its centrifugal motion,
it’s basically stationary,” observed Wayfinder Min Delrey, ecologist for the
city of Ex-Libris. “Of course, it’s spinning fast enough to make it pretty
darned windy when one gets too close to it. If I could hitch a ride on a
scientifically equipped vessel, I’d have a better shot at figuring out what’s
making this twister tick!” Due to the increased height and wind, the Admiral
expanded the “no-sail zone” to ten miles around the anomalous disturbance.
The Purple Librarian expressed deep concern over the apparent disappearance of
the Akalla’s Hope and her crew yesterday. “The last thing we heard from the
ship was a garbled message on VTTP, asking to talk to the ‘Rainbow Librarian’,
whatever that is! And then there was no further contact.” The landship failed
to arrive Rivna as planned. “I sent the crew to retrieve the evil Book of
Sarcophka, in the hope that I could analyse and disarm the evil magic of that
book,” Master Researcher Deckard Cain
added. Indigo Librarian Maggie Rockaby was sent to the last known location of
the Akalla’s Hope and found evidence of major combat against a powerful Undead
monster -- possibly a Dark Halo. “The tracks from the ship’s caterpillar drive
just stopped, but there’s no ship and no wreckage,” she reported.
In a related story, White Librarian Deckard Cain theorised that an unlucky
combination of factors could have lead to the disappearance of the Akalla’s
Hope. “The spot where the Akalla’s Hope vanished coincides with an
intersection of seven TrueGate ley lines. Add to that, the presence of the
ship’s own Superstring Extrusion Drive, a powerful thunderstorm, and
an attack on them by a monster that functioned as a death magic conduit to the
Abyss -- well, that’s a lot of interdimensional distortion in just one place!”
Whether the ship was destroyed, or merely fell through a crack in spacetime,
the Master Researcher could not say.
Master Assassin Illuvatar issued a public safety warning for this weekend.
“As you all know, this weekend marks the three day festival of Robbermass for
the Charnalites. These cretins will probably try to rob the graves at the Hill
of Heroes in order to satisfy their own greed for stolen loot.” The Black
Librarian ordered a unit of Tan Librarian reservists to guard the graveyard
this weekend, and granted shoot-on-site authority against anyone disturbing
the graves of Ex-Libris’ fallen heroes.
Blue Librarian Yemmi Olo’Ton is pleased to announce the release of the Six Day
War wide-area combat action pack. “This commemorative game has over one
hundred pieces, representing Ex-Libris forces, Bleakstone’s Undead minions,
and Chan’s mercenary units. The boxed set comes with a scrollable hex map,
polyhedral dice, and a concise rulebook. Will Ex-Libris win when you play, or
will the forces of darkness conquer all? Buy the game and find out!” Only two
hundred copies of this game are scheduled to be made, so reserve your Six Day
War action pack today! Prices start at 25 CP for the standard edition with
wooden pieces, while for only 50 CP, you can get the deluxe model with
stainless steel unit markers! See your local Blue Librarian today while
Keep track of what your Librarians can do for you! Refer to their function by
Colour. And remember, friends, there's only one punishment for any crime in
Ex-Libris, so behave yourself while in our Fair City!
Black: Assassins. The bravest guardians of Knowledge and Order. They teach the
Final Lesson to the lawless!
Blue: Clerical Need copied made? Need theatre tickets? Need to renew a
smuggling license? Look no further!
Green: Master merchant/craftsmen. Need high quality and a great warranty, buy
Grey: Technical. Need a bridge built? Need a clock fixed? Got a busted pipe?
Grey is the Way!
Indigo: Journeymen. These are the brave seekers of the lost knowledge and
wisdom beyond our city gates!
Orange: Guards and Constables serving the Citizens of Ex-Libris and defending
us from law breakers.
Purple: The Chief Librarian. All praise our Master Librarian, Lord of
Red: Guard/Constable Captains - The Colour that doesn’t run!
White: True Librarians. Looking for a rare book, scroll, or map? Start your
Tan: Our reservists on times of need!
Yellow: Students of the Ways of Colour - the Librarians of Tomorrow!