The Ex-Libris Gazette

Volume 69. Edition 40

Day 329, A.S. 521

Expounding the Truth since A.S. 421!

Available by Whirligig!


Ecologists from the Cross-Point Joint Ecology Task Force(CP/JETF) announced today that the 21st anniversary of the formation of the Great Spiral has brought another year of flooding, crop failure, and mass starvation. "With the cloud cover at 79% worldwide, crops just won't grow in abundance," Master Ecologist Min Delray said. "We've used every tool of science and magic to close the giant waterspout, but I fear it's here to stay, and will just keep getting bigger." At last estimate, the anomalous waterspout, called the Great Spiral, has reached the top of the atmosphere and its tidal effects almost touch the ocean floor.
The North Point Council of Cities officially surrendered the city of Carthag to the Skeleton Lord today, marking the end of the hundred-year Undead Truce. "It was unavoidable," Council President Robart Brightsky said. "We wanted to make a new treaty, but the Skeleton Lord refused. We just don't have the manpower anymore to start a war over this. There were only 5,500 living beings in the capitol city as of the latest census." The Skeleton Lord has given Lord Brightsky two weeks to evacuate the living residents. In a unanimous decision, the Council voted to name Brighton's Reach as the new capitol city.
The Admiral extended the "no sail" zone by another ten miles this week, adjusting the radius for the ongoing incremental growth of the Great Spiral. "The NSZ now terminates ten miles south of Caldeni, West Point," the Admiral confirmed. "I still think the Caldeni site is pretty marginal for safe sailing, but we can't leave West Point with Deserton as its only functioning port." The NSZ also extends 125 miles south and 150 miles east and west of Paru, West Point.
Former Bishop Valla T. Merrin was released from the Limitless Sky Salt Mine after completing his 22 year prison sentence. The defrocked cleric made history as being only the second Bishop to be removed from office via Church Trial. He was convicted of embezzlement, extortion, and improper use of empathic powers. While not proven in court, many crime scholars believe he was responsible for a series of rapes and murders in Rivna that mysteriously ceased following his internment in West Point's maximum security prison that also doubles as a salt mine. "Vengeance is mine!" Merrin declared. "In the darkness of the salt prison, I came to know a true Being of power. Scaxathrom, Lord of Vipers, is my deity, and he shall eat your souls!" The LSSM warden had this to say, "Is he repentant? Nope! But he served out his sentence, so there's nothing I can do except let him go and keep my fingers crossed."
The Purple Librarian confirmed rumours that the great landship, Akalla's Hope, has returned to Ex-Libris. "It's true, my friends and fellow Librarians. I don't know how the Deity could so bless us after two decades under the Great Spiral, but Providence has brought our greatest allies home!" As our readers may remember, the Akalla's Hope vanished twenty-one years ago and was presumed destroyed by the Stillpoint effect that captured it. In fact, the Akalla's Hope had only one casualty, White Librarian Cardin Montross, who was the inventor of the radiation suppressor rods that keep the Glyph Library safe for human habitation.
In related news, Construct Akalla announced that he is formulating a plan (with the help of such luminaries as the Professor, the Teacher, Dulgar Gemfinder and Construct Frank) that may reduce the power of the Great Spiral. "One does not know for certain as to the success percentiles," Akalla explained, "but if success is indicated, one may reduce the Great Spiral back to pre-escalation intensity."
Chan Industries reported a 3rd quarter profit of 1.25%, down another full percentage point from the same quarter last year. "Despite the grim financial news," Lord Deros Chan explained, "I will never go back on my promise to the employees of Chan Industries. You will not lose health insurance or pension, and you'll still get paid 1.15x the Daily Standard Wage." Lord Chan refused to confirm rumours that he accomplished this promise for three years straight by paying the insurance and pension premiums out of his personal cash reserves.
In lighter news, the Glyph Library discovered a cache of technical journals from an abandoned military base near the Western Mountains. "These journals are of great historical value," the Glyph Purple Librarian (formerly known as Maggie Rockaby) said. "These records document the transition from the use of robots to the implementation of Constructs. Apparently there was a brief period in which the military created a hybrid product called a 'Kai', that was part robot, part Construct. They were more intelligent than most Constructs, but less versatile and had only limited regeneration capabilities."
Keep track of what your Librarians can do for you! Refer to their function by Colour. And remember, friends, there's only one punishment for any crime in Ex-Libris, so behave yourself while in our Fair City!
Black: Assassins. The bravest guardians of Knowledge and Order. They teach the Final Lesson to the lawless!
Blue: Clerical Need copied made? Need theatre tickets? Need to renew a smuggling license? Look no further!
Green: Master merchant/craftsmen. Need high quality and a great warranty, buy Green!
Grey: Technical. Need a bridge built? Need a clock fixed? Got a busted pipe? Grey is the Way!
Indigo: Journeymen. These are the brave seekers of the lost knowledge and wisdom beyond our city gates!
Orange: Guards and Constables serving the Citizens of Ex-Libris and defending us from law breakers.
Purple: The Chief Librarian. All praise our Master Librarian, Lord of Knowledge!
Red: Guard/Constable Captains - The Colour that doesn't run!
White: True Librarians. Looking for a rare book, scroll, or map? Start your search here!
Tan: Our reservists on times of need!
Yellow: Students of the Ways of Colour - the Librarians of Tomorrow!