The Ex-Libris Gazette
Volume 69. Edition 40
Day 329, A.S. 521
Expounding the Truth since A.S. 421!
Available by Whirligig!
Ecologists from the Cross-Point Joint Ecology Task Force(CP/JETF) announced
today that the 21st anniversary of the formation of the Great Spiral has
brought another year of flooding, crop failure, and mass starvation. "With the
cloud cover at 79% worldwide, crops just won't grow in abundance," Master
Ecologist Min Delray said. "We've used every tool of science and magic to
close the giant waterspout, but I fear it's here to stay, and will just keep
getting bigger." At last estimate, the anomalous waterspout, called the Great
Spiral, has reached the top of the atmosphere and its tidal effects almost
touch the ocean floor.
The North Point Council of Cities officially surrendered the city of Carthag
to the Skeleton Lord today, marking the end of the hundred-year Undead Truce.
"It was unavoidable," Council President Robart Brightsky said. "We wanted to
make a new treaty, but the Skeleton Lord refused. We just don't have the
manpower anymore to start a war over this. There were only 5,500 living beings
in the capitol city as of the latest census." The Skeleton Lord has given Lord
Brightsky two weeks to evacuate the living residents. In a unanimous decision,
the Council voted to name Brighton's Reach as the new capitol city.
The Admiral extended the "no sail" zone by another ten miles this week,
adjusting the radius for the ongoing incremental growth of the Great Spiral.
"The NSZ now terminates ten miles south of Caldeni, West Point," the Admiral
confirmed. "I still think the Caldeni site is pretty marginal for safe
sailing, but we can't leave West Point with Deserton as its only functioning
port." The NSZ also extends 125 miles south and 150 miles east and west of
Paru, West Point.
Former Bishop Valla T. Merrin was released from the Limitless Sky Salt Mine
after completing his 22 year prison sentence. The defrocked cleric made
history as being only the second Bishop to be removed from office via Church
Trial. He was convicted of embezzlement, extortion, and improper use of
empathic powers. While not proven in court, many crime scholars believe he was
responsible for a series of rapes and murders in Rivna that mysteriously
ceased following his internment in West Point's maximum security prison that
also doubles as a salt mine. "Vengeance is mine!" Merrin declared. "In the
darkness of the salt prison, I came to know a true Being of power. Scaxathrom,
Lord of Vipers, is my deity, and he shall eat your souls!" The LSSM warden had
this to say, "Is he repentant? Nope! But he served out his sentence, so
there's nothing I can do except let him go and keep my fingers crossed."
The Purple Librarian confirmed rumours that the great landship, Akalla's Hope,
has returned to Ex-Libris. "It's true, my friends and fellow Librarians. I
don't know how the Deity could so bless us after two decades under the Great
Spiral, but Providence has brought our greatest allies home!" As our readers
may remember, the Akalla's Hope vanished twenty-one years ago and was presumed
destroyed by the Stillpoint effect that captured it. In fact, the Akalla's
Hope had only one casualty, White Librarian Cardin Montross, who was the
inventor of the radiation suppressor rods that keep the Glyph Library safe for
In related news, Construct Akalla announced that he is formulating a plan
(with the help of such luminaries as the Professor, the Teacher, Dulgar
Gemfinder and Construct Frank) that may reduce the power of the Great Spiral.
"One does not know for certain as to the success percentiles," Akalla
explained, "but if success is indicated, one may reduce the Great Spiral back
to pre-escalation intensity."
Chan Industries reported a 3rd quarter profit of 1.25%, down another full
percentage point from the same quarter last year. "Despite the grim financial
news," Lord Deros Chan explained, "I will never go back on my promise to the
employees of Chan Industries. You will not lose health insurance or pension,
and you'll still get paid 1.15x the Daily Standard Wage." Lord Chan refused to
confirm rumours that he accomplished this promise for three years straight by
paying the insurance and pension premiums out of his personal cash reserves.
In lighter news, the Glyph Library discovered a cache of technical journals
from an abandoned military base near the Western Mountains. "These journals
are of great historical value," the Glyph Purple Librarian (formerly known as
Maggie Rockaby) said. "These records document the transition from the use of
robots to the implementation of Constructs. Apparently there was a brief
period in which the military created a hybrid product called a 'Kai', that was
part robot, part Construct. They were more intelligent than most Constructs,
but less versatile and had only limited regeneration capabilities."
Keep track of what your Librarians can do for you! Refer to their function by
Colour. And remember, friends, there's only one punishment for any crime in
Ex-Libris, so behave yourself while in our Fair City!
Black: Assassins. The bravest guardians of Knowledge and Order. They teach the
Final Lesson to the lawless!
Blue: Clerical Need copied made? Need theatre tickets? Need to renew a
smuggling license? Look no further!
Green: Master merchant/craftsmen. Need high quality and a great warranty, buy
Grey: Technical. Need a bridge built? Need a clock fixed? Got a busted pipe?
Grey is the Way!
Indigo: Journeymen. These are the brave seekers of the lost knowledge and
wisdom beyond our city gates!
Orange: Guards and Constables serving the Citizens of Ex-Libris and defending
us from law breakers.
Purple: The Chief Librarian. All praise our Master Librarian, Lord of
Red: Guard/Constable Captains - The Colour that doesn't run!
White: True Librarians. Looking for a rare book, scroll, or map? Start your
Tan: Our reservists on times of need!
Yellow: Students of the Ways of Colour - the Librarians of Tomorrow!