The Parse Sooth-Sayer
“Truth for All, All for the Truth”
Okorn 35, 2732
The Grey Masks bravely executed a dangerous, unarmed felon on Kurk Street today. “He stole two loaves of bread an a pound of cheese,” said an unnamed (but highly brave, nonetheless) Mask. “We know what justice is about, sinners, so tow the line!” The dead criminal, Tirek Cha’Lontra, was fed to the sewer rats to prevent his reanimation as an Alley Cadaver. “That’ll teach him to steal. Starvation’s no excuse, you lousy leeches!”
Sithon Chi’Raptha, of Ten Doom’s Bar, was bitten to death by a poisonous adder during her snake-charming show. Her body rose in Undeath, manifesting snakes for arms and immediately started attacking the bar patrons, who in turn died and rose in Undeath. Fortunately, a few brave citizens boarded the doors to the bar and set it ablaze before the Undead snake people could escape into Parse at large. The Grey Masks rewarded the five civilians with 75 Creds before executing them for arson. Fortunately, the 75 Creds did not go to waste -- it will buy quite a nice funeral!
The Grey Masks want to thank the citizens for decreasing the rate of increase of murders this year. “Good work, you lousy, lazy sinners,” said the Overmask of Parse. “There were only 35 more murders this year than last. That’s only 716 violent deaths in one short year!”
Remember, citizens, if you rearrange the letters of “funeral” you get “real fun”. Congrats, all, to surviving ten long years under the Grey Curse!