The Parse Sooth-Sayer

“Truth for All, All for the Truth”

Nokul 11, 2732




The Grey Masks are looking to apprehend and execute a dangerous felon who vandalized the Church of the Angry Judge last night. While the Rector was unavailable for comment, the Deacon had this to say, "This outrage is the worst act of civil disobedience I've seen in days! The Masks have my blessing to teach the sinners a painful lesson they'll never forget." The unknown criminal shattered two stained glass windows and set fire to a tapestry and the welcome mat.


The Office of the Overmask announced today the launch of its latest anti-crime initiative: Operation Pure-Thought. "We're tired of you lousy sinners harboring disloyal thoughts about your betters," said a spokesman for the highly exalted, yet appropriatly secretive, Overmask. "Starting today, any Mask with an EMP rating above 30 will have carte blanche to imprison any sinner who thinks bad thoughs about the righteous. So, you worms, consider yourself warned!"


The Office of Population Control released the results of last year's census. Murder outnumbered live births by a ratio of 4:1. Suicide is still a close second for mortality. The Parse population dipped for the tenth straight year. But look on the bright side: losing a third of our citizens in one decade sure did solve the housing crunch!


If you rearrange the letters of the phrase “Omen Like Loss”, you get “Someone Kills”. Yes indeedy!